I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
