no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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