Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
