my soul wont recognize me after tonight
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
