I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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