I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
