I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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