And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
and you fell through a lawn chair
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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