I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
