so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
