Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
His nipple licking is glorious
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