This house was built for laser tag.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
