Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
