Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
