SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize