I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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