But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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