WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
