before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
