Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
