Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
