Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize