No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
