No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
