how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize