Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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