i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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