What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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