I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
