yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
