Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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