when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
