Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
