But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize