i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
No subtext here. People are naked.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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