I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
