you win again, gameday.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
