His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
