These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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