1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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