Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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