do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
