oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
NoShamevember. You game?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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