I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
