i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
