i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize