she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
kristin has been a bad kristin
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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