She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
