we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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