I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
