Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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