"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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