um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
