Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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