I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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