I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
