Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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