just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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