I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
its liver damage thursday
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